le café court: 2015

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The Power of Being Kind

Some people come into our lives and quietly stay. Others stay for a while, leaving footprints in our hearts and we are never the same. - Flavia Weedn

While walking through the subway station this morning, I witnessed a simple but heartwarming encounter between a young man and an elderly woman. At first glance, I wasn't sure what was going on... the young man was carrying a massive suitcase up a flight of stairs. He left it there, and bolted back down the steps in a matter of seconds. Then I realized that the suitcase belonged to an elderly woman, who was at the bottom of the steps. She was thanking the man profusely for being so kind and for saving her 15 minutes of trouble. Mind you, this wasn't the first time I have seen a stranger help someone with their bags, but it was the expression on her face that really spoke to me. She was literally beaming from ear to ear. She kept that bright smile on her face as she made her way up the entire flight of stairs.

My heart melted. It feels so good to see humans being good to other humans.

I can relate to that feeling of joy after receiving help when you least expect it. But life has made me realize that this isn't always easy. We may have good intentions or a natural inclination to be thoughtful, caring, or loving people, but we don't always act on it. When we're out in public and see someone in distress, it's easy to turn a blind eye and assume that some other stranger will do something about it. It takes a lot of courage to extend a helping hand to others, especially when a positive reaction is never guaranteed.

Another challenge with being kind (or having a good heart) is that your qualities may be mistaken for weakness, passivity or in certain cases, flirtatiousness. Criticism and snide remarks flow into our ears and deter us from doing what's right and saying what we really mean. In an effort to avoid conflict, we live safe and comfortable lives where we only look out for our own concerns.

You might ask, 'whats so wrong with that?'.

Many things, actually. Galatians 6 really sheds some light on that challenge, as we all have our fair share of burdens in life, but we're meant to help each other with carrying the heavy load:

2 Bear one anothers burdens, and so fulfill the laws of Christ. 5 For each will have to bear his own load 9 And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up 10 So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith

A watershed moment for me was the recent passing of a schoolmate. Her passing was the sudden and silent variety that leaves the heart and mind of everyone she left behind in complete shock and disarray. She was extremely kind, driven, bold, and didn't wait for anyone to tell her start anything. Her passing confirmed many things for me. First, I reevaluated the kind of woman I aspire to be and the way I want to treat people. My philosophy stands true, and that is to be good to everyone (regardless of race, economic status, health, whether they're a good egg or not, or whether or not they're nice to me). Don't have hidden agendas, ulterior motives, or a scoreboard to see who's winning or losing. Be good because it's good in and of itself. Secondly, I got a wake up call - tomorrow is not guaranteed (Proverbs 27:1). Forgive people, love intensely, slow down, and enjoy life. I know this will be challenging to do, but going through the trouble of being kind is worth it every single time. Our days are numbered (Job 14:5-7) but ironically, living into old age doesn't necessarily mean that you lived a full life. Make time for rest (Matthew 11:28). After all, how can we be generous people if we're groggy and feeling worn out?

Kind people are powerful. They effectively manage their emotions. They hold on to life's positive aspects and they quickly rid themselves of negatives and keep pressing forward! More importantly, they leave an impression on those around them and empower them to do the same.

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ancient languages

Passo coume lou vent

I was flipping through some old photos from St. Paul de Vence, and I was drawn to this photo because of the inscription on the sun dial. I quickly realized that the words were not in French, and just had to know what language it was.

I learned that "Passo coume lou vent" is Provençal (the dialect of Province circa 17th century) for "pass like the wind" or "passe comme le vent" in French. In the past, it was quite popular for sun dials to display Greek or Latin mottos reflecting the thoughts of it's artisan, or words of wisdom that reflect the philosophy of the epoch. It's impossible to know what year this sun dial was made in, but it's message reminds me of the Baroque philosophy on life, which spanned the 16th and 17th century. This period was marked by a struggle between two ideologies; the lingering optimism of the renaissance (think of great French Kings and exuberance) and the self-denying, modest lifestyle of the religious and church (think a life of solitude and seclusion). In effect, the population was fixated on both the richness and the curtness of life.

I ask myself how this applies today. We're still fixated on measuring time and enjoying each day (Carpe Diem)! We don't necessarily focus on death, but our culture is fixated on youth and self-preservation (i.e. anti-aging creams, cosmetic surgery, and working hard so that we leave our legacy behind). But I wonder if our society is too fear-driven that we miss the bigger picture. I think we've warmed up to the idea of being dissatisfied with today, and instead, we heavily rely on the promise of brighter days ahead when that isn't necessarily guaranteed (i.e. looking forward to Friday on a Monday).

Before I ramble on for too long... let me end by leaving you with a couple of "Carpe Diem" inspired quotes as a reminder of how amazing and powerful living in the present can be:

"The trick is to enjoy life. Don't wish away your days, waiting for better ones ahead" - Marjorie Pay Hinckley

"Dream as if you will live forever; Live as if you will die today" - James Dean

"When you arise in the morning think of what a privilege it is to be alive, to think, to enjoy, to love" - Marcus Aurelius

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, by Le café court

advice

How to Maximize Your Study Abroad Experience

Make the most of every opportunity. Don’t be vague and thoughtless, but live accurately and purposefully. Ephesians 5:15-17

I studied abroad in Nantes, France for eight months (from September to April 2015). Without a doubt, it was one of the best experiences of my life. To this day, I can still remember how excited and terrified I felt about my trip. I remember the amount of hours I spent creating packing lists, reading blogs, and watching YouTube videos of other students and their experiences abroad.

After watching these videos and reading these posts, I still felt like there was some advice that was missing. I realized that they were all subject to hindsight biases.

The La Vie en Rose effect:

La vie en rose effect of studying abroad

We only reminisce about the good times and the highlights and forget to pass on information about the challenges. I promised myself I would try to gather, record, and share some practical wisdom while on my exchange for other students preparing for a semester or year abroad. So without further adieu, here are my top five secrets for maximizing your study abroad experience:

#1. Write a list of goals.

Before you embark on your trip, write a list of personal and academic accomplishments. For example, if you want to work on your accent, vocabulary, oral expression, etc., write them down to add a sense of accountability for your actions. Try to remember why you're going abroad in the first place and remember how great of an opportunity you have in front of you. Research the region you are in and draft a list of places you want to go and things you want to see. It may seem like you have all the time in the world, but time will fly by so quickly! Of course, you can add more goals as you go along, but the earlier you start, the better.

#2. Document everything!

Do you like to write? Make a blog. Is photography your thing? Take a ton of photos! Don't listen to what other people say and bring your nice camera abroad. It's worth the hassle. Plus, these photos are for a lifetime. Get a journal or start a blog. It's a great way to remember names and distant places you might have forgotten otherwise. Then, once you're home, you can always look back and see how much you've grown and how things have changed.

#3. It's okay to be (a little) selfish.

If you're studying abroad with a group of students from your own country or university, don't feel obligated to spend 100% of your time with them. Sounds harsh? Not really, and I'll explain why. Improving your language skills takes time and dedication. This means leaving the people and customs that you're familiar with in order to fully immerse yourself into a new culture. This will be difficult, awkward, and extremely uncomfortable at times (especially when you're feeling tired, lonely, or homesick) but don't give up.

#4. Time is precious.

Don’t sit back to "wait to see what happens". Make it happen. Spending hours in your room (on social media, swiping your life away) is not making the most of your experience abroad. Continuously reevaluate what you’re doing and how you’re spending your time. Be daring, ask questions, and reach out to people. Also, reach out to your professors. They're brilliant people with interesting stories, and they genuinely care about your success. They might even help you with #1, as they understand the study abroad process and can offer tips and advice.

#5. Get involved and meet some locals.

You’ll probably become extremely close to your floor mates and other students in your program, which is great! But you’ll find that breaking out of your regular group of friends is crucial if you want to meet the locals. Making friends with locals will open a whole new side to your study abroad experience. This will take some effort and creativity because most academic exchanges have fixed schedules with the same students that (usually) speak English. If possible, try to sign up for a class or a club with other students. In my experience in France, I found that French students generally stay in tight knit groups, and that they are more open to making new friends in clubs and societies.

And here's a bonus tip:

#6. Difficulties aren't meant to defeat you.

When you're in a tough spot or if someone is giving you a hard time (i.e. rude strangers, difficult landlord, slow administration), just remember this. Anybody can get bitter, resentful, and homesick. That's easy. Be a warrior! Dig your heels in and keep being your best. Life is funny, so always be good to people. You have to remind yourself that progress takes time, and that somewhere out there, other students are also going through the same experience as you.

Where are you heading? Have any additional advice? Feel free to leave a comment in the box below :)

Best of luck on your exchange! xx